Back to School, back to... reality?

Sep 5

5 min read

Life Happens!

I had this really lovely idea that summer would roll around and I would have the sweet freedom of the season to explore more of my creativity, expand existing projects, and maybe even start something new! What a...cute...idea that was!

While I did not paint my laundry room, decrease my mile time, nor kick off this blog, I sure did soak in the sun and snuggles, so, can't complain too much. That said:

Welcome to the corner of this website affectionately called The Ebb.

In this space I seek to bring you the latest revelation I have had overlapping my roles as a behavior coach, ADHD specialist, author, book lady, parent, dog mom, latte enthusiast, and friend. I will drop you some behavioral support or parenting tips in the Coaching Corner, and in the Book Nook share out updates related to my books, live readings, and events! As a return reader, you will get to know your way around these spaces and take away strategies to implement in your home and some good reads to share with your family.

As you may have come to know, Tides Learning is influenced not only by my love of the ocean but also its properties of being. Just as the tides ebb and flow, so too do the experiences of learning. Whether you are riding a wave or feel a bit caught in the current, I hope this space provides you some peace and flow to wherever you are in your journey.

Coaching Corner

Beat Back-to-School Blues with some Un-Masking Movement

Bedtime routines are back. Alarm clocks are set. The kids are out the door and you head off to work. But when they return? Total meltdowns and over things you completely do not understand. They asked for crackers for a snack and the bowl of goldfish is wrong--now they want Cheez Its. They are screaming about their shoes hurting, standing right where shoes get taken off, yet they haven't taken them off and are crying. They are playing with a sibling and when their brother takes their turn to fly the airplane around--the turn they totally waited for--and it's complete tears.

It seems completely unreasonable and so you may find yourself really frustrated (read: impatient). While meltdowns are super frustrating to endure, the reasoning behind these is NOT cup color or clothes or crackers. These sudden waves can be tied to the process of unmasking, where we take off a "mask" that was guising some really big feelings, hiding insecurities, or avoiding our own honesty about major disruptors to our senses because we don't want to be a disruptor ourselves. We all do this--kids and adults alike--and while we all have the ability to mask, it is highly likely for a child who is neurodivergent to mask their many different processes disturbed throughout the day.

The flip side to this? We unmask in safety. If your child unveils quickly and heavily over something related to their emotional or executive functioning challenges they are trusting you to help them put some pieces back together. Chances are, the pieces were falling apart during the school day but they kept them covered up in their mask of sitting quietly and asking little questions; meanwhile, they are struggling to sit still, hearing multi-step directions, having things explained verbally when they really need to see a visual, upset that maybe friends from last school year are not playing with them at recess, and having to ask permission to go to the bathroom. Along with these factors, your neurodivergent child struggles with processing and communication especially, so the best way to tell you may well be to show you--and in a big, meltdown-y kind of way.

Your child is feeling the need to mask and therefore removing themselves (their true, little, selves) from the day's experiences. In the afternoon, let's pull them back into themselves (literally) by reacquainting how they feel with their body. Movement, baby!!

Try this:

Big Feelings Dance Party!! This isn't just their favorite songs, this is total physical response (TPR). TPR is used to model the process of learning or the awareness and understanding of a concept. In a few minutes, your child can show big feelings in a very low pressure way as well as build their awareness of big feelings they may not even know they had. In this example, let's pair it with music and REALLY get them moving!

While there are so many emotions to expand on from here, these big 8 are a great place to start with the Tides Feelings Wheel!

Choose their jams they enjoy dancing to! I don't care if it's Disney soundtracks or current Swiftie bops, rock, electronic, or anything in between!
Know the Big Feelings and be prepared to share them with your little. You can use my Kids' Version of the Tides Big Feelings Wheel as a visual, if you like!
Join in the dancing! Start the music and get moving. Then, pause the music and shout: "Now show me what a big, joyful, HAPPY dance looks like!!!!" After a minute or two pause and give the next: "Ready? Give me an ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, MAADDDDD dance!!" Allow your child to move freely!
Don't focus on only the 1 or 2 big emotions you think they are experiencing; the more you give space for all of them the more they build awareness for emotions they may be feeling now and not showing or those they may feel another day.
Celebrate their dance when the Dance Party ends. Recognize their awesome movements and call out their examples you think are most helpful. Something like, "WHOA when you jumped around and spun in circles I was SO dizzy just watching you- I had no clue you could spin so much! Man, were you feeling all spun up like that ALL DAY?!" And give them space to tell ya.

One last tip, if they can't come up with the emotion movement, try an analogy to prompt them. Like, "Move WORRIED! Like a little bunny trying to hop and scurry away super duper fast, worried about being chased!! Oh no!!!"

I can't wait to hear how you give this one a try!

The Book Nook

In case you somehow missed it: Finn & Hatch is RELEASED!

This book is the start of something so great, and so much bigger than I could have imagined. The Inclusive Reef is a series written to explore themes of inclusion and self-awareness. These books will introduce our families to characters with different cognitive abilities, social understandings, and emotional intelligences.

We begin with Finn & Hatch: A Neurodiversity Story, where two tang fish brothers show us how they play and express themselves on the sandbar. Their story teaches advocacy, compassion, and community.

Aside from the thrill of bringing this text to the hands of so many kids and families already, I am excited for an active Fall Semester in schools where I can read aloud and also provide SEL lessons on verbal and nonverbal expression for our students. This book has also already been recognized and catalogued by Reading is Fundamental; a national organization working to bring literacy to life through both the science and joy of reading in all schools, for all kids (and they want Finn & Hatch to be one of those joys! I am FREAKING OUT!!!)